By: Vivian Zhi
Look, I really tried journaling for a month. Emphasis on the word tried because you can probably already guess, I did not succeed. Maintaining a habit is harder than it sounds, okay?
It’s not like I haven’t journaled before. I’ve kept diaries on and off since I was nine, and as a writer, I often write in my free time. I’ve kept physical journals, digital journals, and written down my thoughts on random scraps of paper before burning them up (just kidding, I recycle). So why couldn’t I journal consistently for a month?
It started off fine. I’ve kept my writing streak for approximately 10 days before stopping. And within those 10 days, I was backlogging journal entries most of the time. I just found myself tired at the end of the day, and there were other more important things to do. I know that I should have focused on self-care and mental health, but honestly? Most of my days were so boring that I didn’t have much to write about. I pushed myself to fill up at least a page of writing per day (less than 200 words in my handwriting), and I found myself coming up short. Writing on these “boring” days did help put things into perspective and forced me to review the things I did and how I spent my time, but eventually, journaling just felt like a chore to me. So I stopped.
Note: the camera was not shaky. My handwriting is just that bad.
One of the other reasons I didn’t feel the need to journal was because all the things I would have written in my journal, I already told my friends. I am lucky to have a close enough relationship with some of my friends to confide in them about anything. And I’m glad I do, because they occasionally give me feedback about the problems I’m having, and if they have no advice to offer, they’re there to comfort me. Journals are useful for writing down things you usually wouldn’t share with anyone, but I’ve come to the point where I’m fine with telling certain people personal details.
Reflecting upon this experience, setting aside a designated time to journal might have helped me maintain a writing streak. I found that writing before bedtime was an efficient way to make sure that my thoughts wouldn’t keep me awake at night. However, I would usually be too tired to write that late at night and would convince myself that I would write the next day (and hence, the backlogs). I avoided writing in the morning and afternoon because I convinced myself that it was better that I used all this energy I had in school and other activities before I got too tired.
In the past, I have also tried using journaling apps because I’m always on my phone anyway. I did maintain a longer streak back then, my record being 30 days, but I eventually fell off that wagon. The questions the apps prompted in the daily logs helped me write more, especially when I didn’t know what to write.
So what to make of all this? I suppose it’s that there is no right way to journal. Or, you might not even need to journal if you already have a good support system where you can vent your feelings (though I suppose writing all those emails was technically journaling). As cliche as it sounds, you have to find what works for you. I can’t tell you what to do. I’m not going to promise you that journaling is going to change your life for the better. But give it a shot. It’s nice to look back and read what your past self was thinking all those months ago. And if you ever become famous, your diary would make a great primary source for historians to study when you’re gone.
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