By Vivian Tan
Mentor: (noun) an experienced and trusted adviser.
Mentoring: (verb) advise and train someone.
Those are the Oxford dictionary definitions, but they are pretty vague. What exactly is mentoring and why is it important?
I once struggled with figuring out why, but personally, I feel that it allows us to share experiences and knowledge to help better each other. The thing is that sometimes, mentoring isn’t that common, but there’s so much untapped potential in mentoring!
So what exactly is a mentorship?
To be honest, there are many different types of mentoring. However, mentorship is often a long term relationship.
● Sometimes, you focus on the mentor’s experiences. Their knowledge, power and influence will help the mentee wherever they need. The mentor does guide the mentee to a certain degree.
● Sometimes it focuses on the mentee. Personal insights and information to be gained through interaction with a mentor is more emphasized. The mentee is expected to lead the relationship by inviting the mentor to partake in assisting them.
● It doesn’t have to be one or the other, as you can combine or interchange the two approaches. These are some approaches that I have taken.
What is a mentor?
Honestly, this is also broad because there are many definitions. I would say it’s someone who shares their knowledge and their insights through their experiences. However, it’s ultimately up to the mentee to absorb the information and apply it to their lives, meaning that it’s up to them to take action.
Can I have only one person as a mentor?
That doesn’t have to be the case. In fact, you should have several mentors because there’s diversity in knowledge and experiences, and therefore, more useful advice!
Does a mentor have to be older than me?
There are no age requirements! They can be the same age or even younger than you, because they can have different experiences or more experiences that through sharing, you can learn and improve!
Does it have to be someone I know?
It doesn’t! It can be a role model such as a celebrity or anyone who you look up to. Their stories and advice can be useful!
Is it okay to not have a permanent mentor?
Actually, a mentor is not supposed to be permanent even though it’s a long term relationship. As you learn and grow older, you will need different mentors for aspects of your life. That doesn’t mean that you can cut ties with them right after you move on, keep in touch!
Is mentorship important?
It’s very simple actually, yes!
● To be honest, it saves a lot of time googling, and they share their stories. It’s an interesting way to gain knowledge in a shorter time. It can also help you prepare for the possible challenges and problems along the way that you may not have expected.
● They can give another perspective to your current situation and what you’re doing. Not only that, but they also offer information you may not have known, so simply clear up any concerns that you have.
● It’s a great way to receive personalized support to achieve your goals and reach for your success. This sounds like a short blurb, but they can help you with anything you want AND need. It all depends on what you want to achieve and what you define as success, and the mentor will provide their insight on it.
Mentoring VS Coaching
And yes, there’s actually a difference. Although these terms are used interchangeably, here are some ways to how you can differ them:
● Mentoring is a learning relationship, generally focused on long term development.
- The primary purpose is to drive personal growth through building skills, knowledge and understanding. Mentors may use coaching skills they mainly can make connections and share experiences.
● Coaching is a short term relationship primarily focused on assisting people with their current performance. They do the work for you to help you.
- It seeks to enable others to “get fit” for their current role, or perhaps prepare them for the next. Once you complete a certain benchmark or achieve your goals, the relationship can end.
How do I get started with a mentorship?
I’m going to say Nike’s motto: just do it. It’s that easy, because I don’t think there’s any other way to say it other than asking. However, be prepared for it, because the mentor needs to commit a certain level of time and effort to help you, and you are also expected to do the same. Sometimes they may say no, and that’s okay! It may be because they don’t have enough time or they don’t think you’re a good fit. You just need to find a person that as a mentor, they can connect and get along with you!
If they can’t mentor you, still make an effort to reach out to them from time to time and ask for a little bit of guidance and advice, or even a short meetup (and remember with a meetup or call, remember why you are meeting up). Mentorships don’t always need to be formal. Sometimes there are mentorship programs out there, paid or unpaid, and it’s ultimately up to you whether you want to join them or not. You don’t need to be in a mentorship program to have a mentorship, but it’s always good to seek at least one out.
And you can also be a mentor, because you know something that others don’t. Sometimes you don’t even realize that you’re in a mentorship and even if you are supporting others with their journey to success or helping them improve in the long term, it’s still a mentorship!
So what are you waiting for? Take that first step to find a mentor to help each other learn and grow!
Author’s Bio:
Vivian Tan is a 16 year old student who is passionate about helping others succeed. She loves to dedicate her time volunteering because it brings like minded people together to create change. Vivian is also the Founder and President of YOUth of BC and a 3x TEDx speaker. In the future, she wishes to have a Pomeranian as a pet and wants to help others share their ideas through communication in a TED speech. Whenever she has free time, she likes to relax by listening to music and reading nonfiction books, especially ones on personal growth.
INSTAGRAM: @vivianxyzt
LINKEDIN: @vivianxyzt
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